The gift that keeps on giving

When you go to the zoo and come up on the lions, what does your first instinct tell you to do?  Did I just hear you say flash them?  Yes, I did?  Well you are in good company, because that's exactly what Potty Mouth did.  We walked up to the lions and she lifted her shirt and said "Rrrrroooaaarrr" in her tiny little high pitched voice.  As she is 19 months old, I'm not sure what she was thinking.  Maybe she thought it was Mardi Gras and they would throw her some beads.  Maybe she wanted to show them her plump tummy and taunt them with what a tasty little treat she would be.  Maybe her Daddy is in trouble when she is older....ok, he is definitely in trouble when she is older.  I have no clue what prompted it, but I did take a picture.  She is a cutie. 

When you ask Jackson a question you better brace yourself, because the answer is frequently off the wall and funny.  I always say that Jackson drives his own car in his own lane.  He just does whatever makes him happy with complete disregard of what other people think.  Things are cool because he says so.  It is great.  The other day we were singing Itsy Bitsy Spider over and over because PM loves that song.  Jackson will not have an itsy bitsy spider, he has to have a Big Old Spider and he does his hands accordingly.  John asked Jackson why the girls have the little spiders and the boys have big, ugly spiders and he shrugged and said "I don't know....pirates?"  So from now on when you don't have an answer just say pirates.   We just looked at each other and had no response.  Mission accomplished. 

We just got back from visiting my parents in Pennsylvania.  While we were there, my mom called Vettori, Miss V.  Jackson asked why she would call her her that.  And she said something on the order of, because her name starts with V so she is miss V.  And then she followed up with "so we could call you Dr. J because Jackson and Jones starts with a J."  And he said "and we will call you Dr. Pork Chop."  I was laughing so hard.  Once again, we were speechless and he once again, proved my point.  Buckle up friends, who knows where that Jackson train of though is going.

Another thing worth sharing also happened while we were in PA.  Jackson, Potty Mouth and I were shopping in Rite Aid.  I needed diapers, wipes and some face lotion.  The entire time that we were there Jackson was insisting that he get his Gram and Pap a gift.  I would say no and he would try to convince me with statements like "they love me so much and they are so nice, we should get them a gift."  Very sweet....I know.  But the answer was still no.  As I was looking for face lotion, Jackson became very excited and exclaimed that he found what he NEEDS to buy them.  I look up and he is holding this:

I wish I was kidding, but I am not.  My 3 year old picked out condoms.  I don't think you can read it, but the box says "so thyn you'll forget that you're wearing it."  And a 12 pack no less.  Only the best for Gram and Pap.  So, of course, I take a picture of it and promptly text it to my mom (Sue), dad (Gar), husband (John), brother (Garrett) and sister-in-law (Damis), and tell them that Jackson wanted to buy Sue and Gar (yes, my brother and I call my parents Sue and Gar not mom and dad) a present and this is what he picked out.  The conversation then goes as follows:

Damis:  Hahah.  That is hysterical

Garrett:  Aaaahahahah, I think you need to let him but those.

Me:  I wonder how long it will take mom to figure out what they are?

Sue: OMG...I would have laughed hysterically

Me: Garrett said I should have let him give them to you.  I said I wonder how long it would take you to figure out what they were.  I can just see you reading the box with your glasses way down on your nose and you reading over them.

Sue:  I would have thought he bought me gum.  And how did you know that's how I was reading your text...over my glasses.  Oh, it would have been priceless.

Me:  I don't think you need condoms with a 3 year old sleeping in between you

Gar:  It's the thought that counts

John: He's a very giving...caring soul

Sue:  I would have to agree with John.  And alot like his grandfather...SAFETY first.

John:  Now that's funny.

If you don't know my dad, he is a very cautious man, to say the least.  We frequently call him safety Gar.  He is not going to do anything slightly risky or dangerous and neither is anyone else in his presence.

I also find it quite comical that today happens to be my 32nd birthday and I am talking about my parents and condoms.  Totally appropriate for my family. 

Until next time.....