Every Dad has a "Dad Voice." I love my husbands because his had a bit of a southern twang to it and when he's mad, one syllable words become two syllable words. Such as, "Jackson, stop that na'aw." It makes me smile. Dominick, the oldest, is scared to death of the dad voice. Just the thought of John being mad and using the Dad voice or showing his disappointment keeps Dominick out of trouble. Jackson, not so much. Jackson has more of a "call your bluff" attitude toward discipline. It's kinda like he examines his cards and declares, I'll see your dad voice and raise you some screaming. When this happens and Dominick is at our house, just seeing Jackson act that way in response to John gives Dominick so much anxiety that it looks like he could use a Valium. All of this testosterone and the way they use it brings me much entertainment.
Most recently, Jackson has taken a stand against brushing his teeth. He's decided that opening his mouth is something that he can control and he's not going to do it for a toothbrush...ever. He and John have been going round and round with this every night for about a week. John's takes the approach, if you will not cooperate, I will hold you down and make you because I'm bigger and stronger. Jackson responds with more of a go ahead and try old man. Most of this week Dominick has been at his moms, about 20 miles away, but I'm sure that while this is going on at my house, Dominick gets off the couch at his moms and goes to brushes his own teeth...just in case. He probably thinks, I'm not sure why, but I get the feeling that I should brush my teeth. He senses the dad voice, even that far away.
Here lies the difference between moms and dads (at least with boys). This would go on as long as needed for Jackson to give in and John to "win." Instead, after a couple of days, I went to Walgreens and bought a Spiderman toothbrush that flashes a red light for 60 seconds when you press the button. It was $2.99. Jackson now brushes his teeth morning and night...and a few times in between. My way is not better, just faster. Best 2 dollars and 99 cents that I've spent in a while.
Enough about Toddlers, let's talk sports. This week John Jones will be a Jets fan. Gasp! This would be in response to how ruthless and obnoxious Garrett (my brother) and Billy (Garretts friend) will be when the Steelers win. Do not feel bad for John. He is just as bad to them and brings it on himself. John will have to avoid Pennsylvania and any phone numbers beginning with area code 724 for at least 6 months if the Steelers win the AFC and if they win the Superbowl, he might as well just lay low until next years Super Bowl. Him being a Jets fan actually works out well for those of us who bleed black and gold because he has been bringing bad ju-ju to anyone he cheers for this year. Lets review:
1. The Cowboys: if I hear "they have all the talent to be a great team" one more time, I'm going to puke. When John attended a game this year I think he actually cried into his $12 beer.
2. The University of Texas: They were embarrassing. UT's loss is Cleveland's gain. Come back Colt McCoy...pretty please.
3. He took Dominick to the Big 12 Championship game and was rooting for Nebraska...they lost to Oklahoma. O-Who?
4 One Sunday after I made snide comments about the Cowboys, John declared himself a Ravens fan: they lost that day too. To which I comforted him by saying "I'm sorry both your teams sucked today."
5 Last week he was cheering for the hated Patriots and their whiner, pretty boy QB with the Justin Beiber hair. Thank you cute little Mark Sanchez for taking care of them.
**On a side note, does anyone else notice that with long hair Tom Brady looks more like Gisele's brother than husband? Kinda creeping me out. But I digress.
The only exception are the Texas Rangers. But I'm not sure that counts because, seriously, who saw that coming? So if my lovely husband cheers for the Jest there is a good chance that his bad Karma will cause cute little Mark Sanchez to eat a can of Botulism for breakfast on Sunday. Having to travel alone to PA with the kids for a whole year because John can't show his face is a small price to pay for a Steelers win. John can probably hang out with Jeff Reed on Sunday. I'm sure he's sitting on his couch, getting drunk, eating Cheetos in his green and white undies somewhere.
Until next time....
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